Prior to the smartphone era when folks actually talked to one another in person, generally speaking, about eighty-five percent of the conversation was non-verbal. You watched the other person’s reactions to what you are doing or saying by observing their facial expressions and body language and then adjusting your communication accordingly. This was called ‘reading the room’. It was a feel that you got from the other person’s movements and expressions.
It was not just hearing the words that were spoken. By silently reading the other person you could gauge how they were interpreting your intended information that you were sharing with them. This is what true feel boils down to. You were paying attention to them, not only hearing them but listening to them as well so you could adjust your input as needed. This type of conversation is what you should be having with your horse if you want to develop a genuine, long lasting relationship with him.
The key for you to having a quiet, attentive, emotionally stable horse is having developed a relationship with him based on a bond of trust and a depth of understanding (of him) as well as having the horse understand the job you are asking him to do. Because, if the horse feels better physically, mentally, and emotionally, the better he will get doing what you request him to do. Think of it as the two of you joining together as a finely tuned single entity with you providing the brainpower and direction and the horse providing the speed and power. It is not just training in and of itself, that provides this harmony; although training done in a correct manner is an essential part of the total equation.
The cultivation of this relationship starts with you giving the very best of yourself every time you and your horse are together – in the softest way possible. This cultivation is framed by four things that are at the heart of everything you do when you are with your horse. They are your intent, attitude, approach, and presentation in everything you do with your horse. And more other item that is essential is that you must strive to do all the other things with quiet calmness which helps create the intangible in horsemanship leading to that elusive connection that we all seek.
It is this last thing that is a piece of the puzzle that many times doesn’t exist when you are only working mechanically by imitation of others when training horses.
Additionally, your ego can get in the way of this subtle form of communication. This often happens when you let your ego interfere with what you are telling the horse what you want him to accomplish at all costs by obediently and strictly listening to you; however, this way rules out what the horse is trying to say to you. It is the listening part that is vital to fostering understanding which supports your mutual growth in communication and which, in turn, allows for the mutual exchange of intent through feel that allows the development of a relationship with your horse.
Likewise, if you only focus on everything that is wrong all the time you will not be able to see or feel what is right. What you should do is remember the words of an old folk song which was “You got to accent the positive; eliminate the negative, latch on to the affirmative and don’t mess with Mister in-between”.
By this I mean, if you really think that you can practice good horsemanship when you are with your horse and then spend the rest of your day in a stressed-out, angry manner, then you really are only fooling yourself because you can’t become patient, calm, aware, and understanding at the flip of a switch. You will carry your attitude and behavior with you when you are with your horse. So, if you carry these negative qualities, your horse will tend to reflect those same qualities to a greater or lesser degree. But if you are patient, focused, and dependable, then your horse will, in turn, return those qualities to you. In other words, you must change your way of life if you want to have a better connection with your horse as well as living a calmer life.
Let’s take, for example, the case of what many people would label a ‘disrespectful’ horse. Suppose that every time, for the last few months, prior to mounting your horse you stick him in the ribs with your fingers because you want him to disengage his hindquarters (as you might have seen on some previous occasion demonstrated by some horse clinician or trainer). When you do this, the horse pins his ears, swishes his tail and grinds his teeth. Whereas when you first started to do this, the horse would quietly move his hindquarters over without any fuss. But now you think, by his current behavior, that he is showing you disrespect. So, in order to cure this, you decide that you will continue to stick him in the ribs until he quits being disrespectful because you have to show him who is in charge.
In this scenario, you should pause a moment, regroup, reflect on the situation and ask yourself the question: Is the horse showing his displeasure because he already knows how to do what you are constantly asking him to do even when there is no need to do it, or, simply, is he not fully understanding what you are asking him to do because you have never been clear in your presentation of your request? If the horse does understand what you are asking of him, maybe enough is enough and unless there is a reason for you doing what you are asking him to do, he is probably just demonstrating his annoyance with your continual requests without reason (aside from your own demonstrated annoyance).
If, on the other hand, your request has been unclear, then you will need to think of another way to present your request that is not a continuance of your previous ‘my way or the highway’ approach that is so irritating to the horse. A more reasoned approach might be as simple as slightly moving his head to one side which will cause the horse to move his hindquarters to the opposite side. This is a more natural movement and will make more sense to the horse than jabbing him in the ribs with your fingers. If you allow your horse to have a voice in the proceedings and you ‘listen’ to what he has to offer, then you will end up with a more willing partner.
On the other side of the coin, so to speak, is the concept of providing your horse with the minimum amount of pressure needed for him to perform whatever you are asking him to do as a willing manner. It is called ‘softness’ for lack of a better word.
Here is an example of a soft approach when handling the reins. If your initial contact on the reins is with as much finesse (to do something in a subtle and delicate way) as you can possibly muster, then what happens after the contact will be much easier to adjust. However, if your initial contact is made through tension, either internal or external, then trying to switch to a soft feel on the reins will be more difficult because your horse will already be on the defensive in preparation for you providing even more tension as you continue to adjust the reins. In other words, softness begins before you make contact, not afterwards. It begins with your intent which comes from within yourself as well as your confidence in your horse that he will wait for further instructions from you before moving forward.
It is widely agreed that one of the essential assets in successfully working with the horse is the ability to see things from the horse’s point of view. If this can be accomplished it is a whole lot easier for you to get things done with the horse while using the least amount of energy and also for the horse.
So, for example, if the horse is doing something that is not quite what you might have thought you had asked to do, just blend into what he is presenting to you and then find a way to go with his movements and then use it to your advantage. To do this, the more variations you can learn of any one technique or method or idea the better off you will be with your horsemanship. It is the understanding of the principles behind the techniques and methods that is the important part because problems arise when the principles are misunderstood. Only time, practice , experience and dedication to your journey to true horsemanship that will get you to your destination.
As an example of what I am talking about let’s take a horse who every time you ride him past a point in an arena (a gate, for instance) that is on the way back to his pen he starts to go in that direction with determination rather than going in the direction that you want him to go. But it is only at this time that you try to get him to go in the direction that you want him to go, but with little success. What has happened is that his ‘home’ has captured his attention and he is not with you anymore mentally.
In order to rectify this unwanted behavior instead of getting into a struggle with him, if you ask him just before he gets to that point to change gaits or put him into a small circle (which you may have to do several times) you will be starting the process of getting his attention back to you. This is because the horse is a great conservator of energy and by doing that extra work every time he comes to that point where he wants to go back to his pen he will soon realize that it would be easier to just follow your original direction and his attention will return to you and your requests. In essence, you will have adjusted your actions to fit the situation without getting into a fight with the horse.
When you first begin your journey into discovering meaningful horsemanship – a genuine connection with your horse – you may or may not have an extensive depth of knowledge, either theory (books, DVDs, Youtube, etc.) or practical experience (riding lessons, clinicians, formal training, etc.) regarding the different methods, systems, techniques used around the world in various countries with various horse breeds to start and educate the horse.
This lack of depth could, unintentionally, lead you down an unplanned path of despair if you are not aware of the hidden dangers lurking along the way. One of the first dangers to be aware of is your reaction to coming to the end of your knowledge regarding the training and education of a horse. Most humans become frustrated when this happens which quickly turns to anger. They then resort to prolonged unchanged repetition thinking that more of the same of what they are doing will solve the problem. And, finally, when repeated repetition fails or makes things even worse, many folks quit and abandon their efforts.
But some of them pause for a moment and think about what might be another way toward a solution to the issue and try to determine what may be at the heart of the issue. This is called deliberation. It is when you step back from the unresolved situation and start to look for ways to gain enough knowledge to come up with a reasonable solution. It is this deliberation of what is going on that is the most difficult to establish but it provides you with the best opportunity for growth because it allows you to activate your common sense rather than having your ego take over. There is an old saying in the horse world that sums up this issue quite nicely – Where knowledge ends, frustration begins, followed shortly thereafter by force. No truer words could be spoken.
There are four attributes that you have which must be enhanced in order to arrive at an acceptable result to your problems with your horse. The first of these is building up your awareness of everything around you and your horse when you are together, especially, your sense of sight and hearing (particularly your peripheral vision). You should improve your body movements to clearly communicate your intentions to your horse. You must not become overly concerned with others or what they are doing. Concentrate on improving yourself. When working with your horse you need to get better at moving with a smooth, flowing speed coupled with precision as opposed to moving fast and sloppy. Try not to use an abundance of tools because the more of them you use the less you will be focused on the subtle signals that your horse is constantly sending to you. In short, focus on your work, but be aware of other things around you. Try not to get ‘tunnel’ vision because that is a negative. You need to develop the ability to know and understand what your horse is offering in response to your signals and how other things around you might motivate him in a positive or negative way. The way you look, listen, and feel will make you more aware.
The second of these attributes is a commitment to the process of building a solid connection with your horse. When you are on your horse, whether in an arena or out on the trail, you must always ride your horse not just sit on him. This means that you must have a commitment to that endeavor, which is the second attribute that you must develop . If you are going to be of any use to the horse you will need to learn how to be with him all the time not just when it is convenient for you. Otherwise, you will have effectively become merely a passenger on his back and your horse will have become a ‘pack-you’ horse, meaning that he is just packing you around because you are not riding him anymore.
This is an important point to consider because the more you practice something, the better you will become at it. So, if you ride your horse without intent or awareness, you will, inadvertently, be spending your time practicing how not to ride and your horse will find something else to occupy his mind which will not always be to your advantage.
If you only practice these things intermittently you will not be able to successfully further your relationship with your horse. You, quite simply, must fully concentrate with your whole mind and body to get anything done that is meaningful and lasting. By approaching your work in this way you will, in a relatively short period of time, begin to see some amazing improvements because you will have done your best from start to finish and that is all that really matters. You should never settle for mediocrity. You can accomplish anything you want to with your horse if you put in the time, do the hard work, and develop a total commitment to the task at hand.
The next attribute is the art of being internally-centered. Essentially, this means having the ability to be physically and mentally centered when you ride your horse and not just work on the surface of the act of riding.
When you first begin to learn to ride a horse, the emphasis is usually directed toward developing the correct position of your hands, legs, and seat in order for you to effectively apply your aids and to keep your balance in the saddle. These are external in nature and, over time, an over-reliance on them can lead to a mechanical way of riding and can develop a certain loss of feel that is coming from the horse.
But for you to have a deeper connection with your horse with more feeling of the movement of his body you should also work on establishing a quiet mind, meaning to have the ability to shut out all distractions and concentrate exclusively on the task at hand. This is not an easy thing to do – initially. But with deliberate determination it can be done.
The next step in the process of becoming internally-centered is to energize your center of power (located about two inches below your belly-button) to initiate action from your horse. This is done by learning how to breathe correctly so that you use your diaphragm to completely fill up your lungs with air and then exhale the air completely. This way of breathing will allow your body to get anchored deeper in the saddle. If you only use your lungs to breathe, you will feel lighter in the saddle and also make it easier for you to hold your breath which, in turn, will make you more unbalanced.
So, to be effective with your horse in an almost effortless way you have to connect your center with that of the horse (whose center of power is located almost directly under where you sit on the horse) and then encourage his center to go where you want it to go. This is accomplished through visualization which means to develop a mental picture (visualize) of a certain technique or movement and then let it happen rather than make it happen. This all appears to be a simple act to accomplish but you should always keep in mind that there is a great deal of complexity in simplicity.
The next attribute you can use to your advantage is circular motion. Part of any gymnastic program that you use when schooling your horse, riding in a competition any kind (reining, cutting, arena roping, dressage, jumping, etc.) is to ride circles, serpentines, figure-eights of various sizes at the walk, trot, or canter (called loping in the western tradition). These circles and circular movements are essential elements in the training of your horse when done correctly because they help strengthen as well as supple your horse. They can also be useful in controlling your horse when his energy level exceeds what you request him to do or he starts to exhibit nervous tendencies in the performance of his job.
For many people, when their horse’s energy gets excessive, they resort to using the one-rein stop as an antidote to rectify this kind of behavior. But usually they execute it incorrectly by only pulling the horse’s head to the side. This maneuver, done to excess, will only loosen the muscles of the hose’s neck to the extent that the horse will develop a ‘raggy’ neck which leads to having him disconnect his neck from the rest of his body. This results in you having no control of the rest of his body, especially his hindquarters, which is the engine of the horse and from which he gets all of his power. The hindquarters have still not been disengaged to the extent that the horse’s energy has not been dissipated because they have not used their leg to do this since they probably are gripping too tightly with their legs. So, in the final analysis, the one-rein stop will be ineffective no matter how many times they use it, because the root cause of the problem, getting the horse attention back to you has not been addressed. Additionally, they are only telling the horse what he is doing wrong instead of concentrating on what they would like him to do.
So, a better way to regulate and redirect his behavior is to let him use his energy in a more positive way by causing him to use it by going in circles, serpentines or figure-eights until he realizes how much more work he is doing than necessary because he is not paying attention to what you are asking him to do and begins to regulate his energy to a level that is acceptable to you.
This is accomplished by executing the following procedure. Every time you feel the horse starting to begin (your timing of this is critical to your success) to build up his energy level, ask him to go onto as small a circle (or serpentine or a figure-eight) as he can manage while still keeping his balance (no leaning is to be allowed). As soon as he slows down, let him out of the circle and ride him straight ahead at the pace you want him to go. If he again begins to build up his energy, start him onto another circle, but this time in the opposite direction until he starts to slow down. Keep using this procedure until your horse can calmly move in a straight line at the pace that you desire him to have. Now you will have his attention returned to you. Then quit for the day and start all over again the next day. Pretty soon, your horse will learn to regulate his movements in accordance with your directions – not his.
Above all else, you must remain emotionally calm because if you are not then you won’t be able to think clearly. Secondly, you must develop and practice the art of listening to your horse because he always tell the truth.
This whole process of learning horsemanship is like embarking on a long journey from no-where to somewhere with time and years quickly passing by as you go. But if you travel slowly, steadily, and with care you will arrive at the destination you set out to go to and you will arrive on time.